WHAT’S WITHIN MYSELF
I’m beginning to understand and to see,
The good that is inside this person that’s me.
There are many things about which I care,
About where I’m headed in a land of uncertainty.
Within me lies a man of strength,
Just a moment of weakness has taken from me.
A smile lives beneath, sometimes far down,
On the surface pain hidden behind the act of a clown.
What’s within myself a small boy trying to find,
A man who may survive in today’s state of mind.
What’s within myself is a hope for a better tomorrow.
Keith Garrett
keithgarrettpoetry 
Keith, excellent! Not just in a poetic sense, but being able to look within and see tomorrow. If you don’t mind, let me make a couple of suggestions. Switch ‘has’ to ‘was’ in line six (because ‘has’ is present tense and ‘was’ is past tense). In line eight, you need a verb. Since ‘pain’ is the subject the word ‘is’ would do (pain is); and line nine needs a verb (‘what’s within myself is a small boy trying to find’). Don’t forget your subjects and verbs as my teachers used to say, the one is the subject and the other is the verb (the action). This really is a special poem and as one who often struggles to find just the right word for the right place I thought perhaps you would appreciate this small lesson in subjects and verbs. Keep up the good work.
I missed all of high school due. to brain surgery and 5 more
On Sat, Mar 18, 2017 at 6:12 PM, keithgarrettpoetry wrote:
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I knew you had been injured but I didn’t know the nature of the surgery. I hope I didn’t offend you in any way. I was off of the computer for most of last year and know that I missed a lot of information. When I came back to posting on again I noticed that your poems had improved dramatically, and I just offered for that reason. I apologize it it has offended you. I am truly impressed by this current poem. It is great.
I have about 2000 poems. I started writing in 1998. I still post from then. I don’t want it to be a chore, I write from my thoughts, I can’t think about rules.
On Sat, Mar 18, 2017 at 8:58 PM, keithgarrettpoetry wrote:
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That is wise because as I mentioned you are growing by leaps and bounds. It is better under any circumstances to follow your thoughts. With poetry most of us break all the rules there. But if you can remember to use the two suggestions I made you’ll be happier with the result. If you think it will bother you though on the thoughts you are searching for, don’t worry about it. Just do it as it feels right.
I have panic disorder and I just want to feel peace.
On Sat, Mar 18, 2017 at 9:13 PM, keithgarrettpoetry wrote:
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I’m sure your writing helps. Do you feel it does?
Yes, it does. I walk a lot which is great. headphones and music.
On Sat, Mar 18, 2017 at 11:34 PM, keithgarrettpoetry wrote:
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Walking is supposedly the best way to exercise I’m told. I always tell my kids not to do anything crazy…be careful.
Thanks so much
On Sun, Mar 19, 2017 at 7:38 PM, keithgarrettpoetry wrote:
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I’m sure your writing helps.